A woman once told me that desire after fifty is like a pilot light, still flickering, just quieter. I think about that a lot. Especially because nobody really prepares you for how hormones can shift the rhythm of your body… or how fatigue, dryness, and the sheer relentlessness of life can turn even the most loving bedroom into a bit of a quiet zone.
But here’s the thing: you're not broken. You're evolving.
Menopause isn’t the end of desire, it’s an invitation to reimagine it. To slow down, feel more, talk deeper, and ask for what you need now. (Because chances are, it’s different than what you needed at 33. And that’s not just okay, it’s powerful.)
So what does “keeping the fire” look like when energy is low but love is high?
Sometimes it’s a midday massage that turns into a moment. Sometimes it’s a warm bath, good lube, and no expectations. Sometimes it's saying, “I want closeness, but I don’t need penetration.”
Fatigue is real. So are shifting hormones. But so is your right to feel good in your body, with your partner, and with yourself. Intimacy doesn't have to be performative. It can be soft. Slow. Deep. Nourishing.
You’re not losing the spark, you’re just learning how to light it a little differently.
And maybe that’s not the fire dying. Maybe it’s just getting wiser.
