Shower sex can be a thrilling way to explore intimacy, but it comes with its own set of challenges. Slippery surfaces, awkward angles, and water washing away natural lubrication can turn a steamy fantasy into a comedy of errors if you're not prepared. The good news? With a few smart tweaks, shower sex can actually be fun!
Here's everything you need to know about how to have shower sex, from the best positions to the products that make it work.
Shower sex tips for slippery sensual fun
1. Use a water-resistant lubricant
First and foremost, regular water-based lube won’t last in water, and your body’s natural lubrication can also be easily washed away. Contrary to expectations, water can be too wet and introduce unnecessary friction. If you're wondering why shower sex feels less comfortable than expected, the water is likely the culprit.
We recommend using a water resistant lube like our Extra Virgin oil-based lubricant to provide some slip and add a long-lasting, silky feel even in the wettest conditions, letting you stay in the moment. A silicone-based lube is another solid option for the same reasons. Remember to reapply as well if the water washes some of it away or things get uncomfortable again, especially during longer sessions.
2. Find your footing
Slippery surfaces make balance tricky. A wet, tiled surface is about as stable as an ice rink, and trying to focus on pleasure while also trying not to fall is a fast way to kill the mood (or worse, hurt yourself). Before things heat up, prepare by adding a non-slip shower mat or positioning yourselves securely for stability, minimising distractions and focusing on pleasure. If you're leaning on a surface in the shower, make sure it's stable and won't move, avoiding potential accidents. If you have grab bars installed in your bathroom then even better.
Trying to maintain balance in a tricky position can also take you away from the experience and sensations so it's key to having a good time as well.
3. Get the temperature right
The right water temperature makes a real difference. Set the water to a warm, comfortable level to help relax your muscles and create a soothing environment, making physical closeness even more enjoyable. Cold water can feel harsh, but also make sure to not have the hot water at scorching temperatures to avoid hurting your delicate areas. Aim for comfortably warm, the temperature you’d set it at for a long relaxing time in the shower.
4. Incorporate sensual touch
The shower is a genuinely great space for full-body sensory exploration, and you don't have to jump straight to penetrative sex to make the most of it. Use soap, body wash or an oil like Extra virgin to give your partner a slow, deliberate massage. The lather, the warmth, and the skin-on-skin contact can all combine into something pretty intimate. Make sure whatever you’re using is suited for sensitive areas to avoid potential irritation from harsh ingredients or strong fragrances.
5. Start slow and communicate
Shower play can be new territory, so go at a pace that works for both of you. Communicate what feels best and adjust positions as needed for maximum comfort and enjoyment. Remember, you don’t need to jump into the bathroom immediately, feel free to start slow and make your way to the shower after getting warmed up and comfortable. If you need to stop and get out of the shower for a break, that is ok and something you should voice to your partner.
6. Remember its not just about penetration
Penetrative sex in the shower is trickier than it looks. Height differences, balance constraints, limited space and the sheer logistics of it all can make it more of a challenge than a pleasure. But shower sex doesn't have to mean penetrative sex at all.
Manual stimulation, oral play (edible water-resistant lube helps here too), using your hands to explore, using the shower head or simply using the shower as extended foreplay before moving somewhere more comfortable, are all completely valid options. Some of the best shower sex isn't technically "sex" by a narrow definition. Think of the shower as part of your broader intimacy toolkit, not a standalone performance.
What are good shower sex positions?
When it comes to sex positions in a shower, the golden rule is: stability first, creativity second. Here are the positions that actually work well given the constraints of the space.
Standing sex doggy style
One of the most practical and satisfying sex positions in the shower. One partner faces the wall, hands pressed flat against it for support, while the other partner stands behind. The wall provides crucial stability for both people, the angle works well for most body types, and it keeps the weight distribution manageable. If there's a height difference, a small step or adjusting how much each person bends their knees can help close the gap.
The standing wrap
One partner stands with their back against the wall while the other faces them, lifting one leg and hooking it around their partner's hip. It's more intimate than doggy style and allows for eye contact, which many people find adds a lot to the experience. If you’re getting cold in the shower, the proximity of your bodies can also help create some added warmth. It does require some flexibility and decent balance, so make sure both your footing is solid before attempting this one.
The assisted squat/reverse cowgirl
One partner sits on a shower bench or bathtub ledge while the other straddles them. This removes the balance issue almost entirely and opens up more positions than standing allows. If your shower has a built-in seat, use it. If it doesn't, a waterproof stool designed for shower use is a game-changer.
Mutual masturbation/oral
As mentioned previously, not every good position in the shower involves penetration. Massaging, standing face-to-face and using your hands on each other, or one partner kneeling (a mat helps here) for oral sex, can be incredibly intimate and avoids the coordination challenges of standing penetrative sex entirely. These positions also give you more freedom to focus entirely on your partner's pleasure.
Best lube to use in the shower
Short answer: oil based or silicone based. Avoid using a water-based lube.
Our recommendation is Extra Virgin oil-based lubricant. It's designed for water-resistant use, meaning it stays put and keeps things comfortable even in the shower. Extra Virgin is also edible containing luscious natural oils so great if oral sex is on the table.
If you need to use condoms, reach for a silicone-based lube instead. It offers the same long-lasting water-resistant properties without the latex incompatibility.
Whatever you use, keep it within reach in the shower so you can reapply easily. Don't wait until things are uncomfortable to top up as proactive reapplication helps keep the experience smooth from start to finish.
The bottom line on how to have sex in the shower
Shower sex is absolutely worth exploring, it just rewards a bit of preparation. Get a non-slip mat down, choose the right lube (seriously, don't skip this), communicate openly with your partner, and don't put pressure on yourself to nail a complicated shower sex position the first time. Start simple, stay safe, and focus on what actually feels good rather than what looks good in a movie.
With the right setup, shower sex stops being an awkward experiment and starts being one of your favourite ways to connect.
